Loving-kindness phrases

Loving-kindness, or mettā, is the warm wish for beings to be happy and safe. It is one of the four sublime states taught by the Buddha. A common way to develop it is to repeat a few simple phrases while holding someone in mind. This page offers phrases and a way to use them at home.

Traditional phrases

The phrases are modern wordings of very old wishes. A widely used set is:

• May I be safe.
• May I be happy.
• May I be well in body and mind.
• May I live with ease.

Other common phrases include “May I be peaceful”, “May I be at peace with others” and “May I be kind to myself”. The discourse on loving-kindness contains the wish “May all beings be happy”, which many people use on its own. Choose three or four phrases that feel natural to you, and keep them the same for a while so they become familiar.

Moving through different people

The practice traditionally moves step by step:

1. Yourself. Many teachers begin here, since it is hard to wish others well while being harsh with yourself.
2. A benefactor. Someone who has helped you and is easy to feel grateful towards.
3. A good friend.
4. A neutral person. Someone you see but do not know well, such as a shop assistant.
5. A difficult person. Begin with someone mildly difficult, not the hardest relationship in your life.
6. All beings. Extend the wish in all directions, without limit.

Spend a few minutes with each, repeating the phrases slowly and picturing the person if that helps.

How to practise

Sit comfortably and let the body settle. Say the phrases silently, at an unhurried pace, with a pause between them. You do not need to force a feeling. The intention is what matters. Some days warmth will come easily. Other days the phrases may feel dry, and that is fine. Keep returning to them, as you would return to the breath.

If strong resistance comes up, go back to someone who is easy to love, and return to the harder person later.

Benefits

The discourses list many benefits of practising loving-kindness, including sleeping and waking easily, being dear to others and having a mind that settles quickly. Over time, many people find they become less reactive and more patient in ordinary life.