I keep circling a small distinction. A cue can be a hinge: the kettle, the door, the first breath before speech. It can also become a certificate: evidence that we are doing the work, or that the work has been done.
For me, the test is not the pause itself, but what it does afterwards. Does it make us less tight around the mess? Does it shorten complaint? Does it leave the question open, or does it close the question into a tidy story about ourselves?
I am not after a rule here. I am after a reason to keep the cue humble. If a household cue is shared, it may carry care. If it is private, it may carry a quiet check. Both can work, if they do not turn into performance.
Where do you draw the line between a helpful hinge and a self-congratulatory badge?