I’ve been sitting for a few months, mostly at a kitchen table with a cushion from the library. I like a tiny cue before I settle: hand near the heart, “may I be kind,” then breath. It feels like a hinge, not a costume.
But when I imagine doing it in a group, a small worry appears: does the cue become a quiet scoreboard? Did I bow enough? Did my hands look sincere? I don’t want loving-kindness to turn into a tally of how well I performed it.
I’m still learning the terms, so I ask plainly: what keeps a kindness cue simple, shared, and low-status? Does it need a teacher, a group agreement, or just a shared intention? How do you know the cue is opening the next moment rather than rating the last one?
I’d love replies from people who see this differently, especially if you think ritual matters more than I do.